Wednesday, December 1, 2010

THIS is why I'll never front a revolution

I love idealists. "Oh, what's wrong with the world is corporations. People are too greedy. The government doesn't care about the people." Way to state the obvious, Jack. Any solutions? "Y'know, if people would just start caring about each other..." And that's where you lose me. See, we're all victim to this thing called the human condition. And the human condition shows a long history of people killing other people for suggesting that the world might be a better place if we all just set aside our petty differences and worked together.

Then, before you get the last nail in the coffin, someone is there to capitalize on the message. Jesus! How much money has been made in his name? And all because a small group convinced the powers-that-be that non-Jews were easier to persuade.

I couldn't imagine living in a world where all our social issues had been solved. One, I like that some people have it harder than others. It keeps the competitive nature alive. And we need it, seeing as the remaining meat eaters of the human race have to go no further than Ralph's or Vons for their kill. And we don't exactly live in a jungle of man eaters. The only time I have to move at a quicker-than-stroll pace is any night I see a group of three or more black guys. I do greatly respect the individuals that have the balls (or ovaries) ((It only seems fair that I follow a seemingly racist comment with an overtly P.C. one. I like to be well-balanced and appeal to all)) to fight against the institution for what they believe is right. I just hope the assets are in order and the will is hashed out.

Yes, there is injustice in the world. A lot of it. And it sucks. But take the small victories my friend. Enjoy that you can have cheese wrapped in cheese thrown in a deep fryer and served up with tasty marinara. You get out there and start stirring the pot, you get a few things: you get a file with the FBI, you get chapters in history books, and you get dead before you ever experience the humiliation of erectile dysfunction (or vaginal... vapidity?).

There seems to be a recurring trend with these people who think they're never going to die. They think they're never going to die. And I don't mean in the physical, earthly world sense. They all know they're going to die. But they all cling tightly to this imaginary god fellow and his promises of eternal sunshine and puppies. My problem is, I've got the good sense to believe that this life is it. So I'm going to try my best to die on my own terms. Shot in the face? No thanks. Alcohol poisoning and drug overdose with three Vegas hookers? Now you're speaking my language. "Oh, how terrible. Who could do such a thing?" Well, a lot of people actually. John Belushi, Judy Garland, Billy Mays, Sigmund Freud, Lenny Bruce, Jimi Hendrix, and Wiki lists over 100 more. I don't have time to wait around to find out if this heaven thing exists. So, like my predecessors, I hope to get as close as possible as often as possible until my heart just can't take it anymore. Or I choke on my own vomit. Poor Jimi.

Do I think drugs are good, wars are bad, hate is exhausting, the government shouldn't be run by the wealthy, kids should have a good education, profiling is okay, invalids and retards (not Rainman, I mean eating-through-a-straw, can't-tell-up-from-down, never-learned-to-walk retards) are a waste of space and resources, rain forests are cool and shouldn't be destroyed, teachers should make more than mayors, cops don't need guns, and Rocky Horror Picture Show was one of the best films of the last 50 years? You're damn right I do. But I'm not going to start marching in the streets. Well, I might march for Rocky, but dressing in drag rarely gets you shot.